Prick Up Your Ears--No, REALLY!

I never in my life thought I would be in a situation where I could honestly say I've experienced the standing Family Guy joke about "Prick Up Your Ears." 

I just had an Ear Nose and Throat Doctor inject my head through my fucking eardrum to prevent total deafness in my right ear, and says he's going to bless me with another prickpoling and these world-class orgasms about 5 more times over the next few weeks. I'm totally lying about it feeling like an orgasm. It felt like some primal Nazi grade Mengele shit, frankly. The good news is that it gives me the best chances to retain the most of my hearing in this ear so I'm pricking up my ears, so to speak.

The Army blessed my head with all kinds of fancy fucked up problems, as anyone who has known me for more than a few minutes has probably already shared with you. Besides the mental shit, I've had several traumatic brain injuries. Hell, I've been shot in the head 6 times, on top of everything else, but my helmet managed to deflect or absorb all the rounds. Needless to say, I tend to think differently than everyone else, and my stairs frequently don't reach the attic.

The good news is that the doctor says this delightful massage has a happy ending--probably. There is still a good chance of total deafness on my right side, but this will suppress those chances, and make what reduction there is more intermittent than constant.

There's no telling though. I'm deaf completely right now from the surgery. An injection doesn't usually count as surgery, but trying having it through your fucking eardrum and into the delicate parts of the inside of your head, and suddenly it feels like the word "surgery" very much applies. There's also this immediate afterwards excruciation pain, where you have to lay on your side and let it subside for half an hour without swallowing, and it's much less fun than the saddest and most tragic handjob in the world.

So, it's all over for today, and aside from repeating this nightmare half a dozen times over the next several weeks, I'm done, had a nice fettuccini at Olive Garden as a treat, my mood is a lot better and ready to joke about 'pricking up my ears,' and relaxing at home for a while with online friends. :)

By the way, speaking of fettuccini, did you know Les Neilson played a role of a character named "Fettuccini?" That's kind of amusing.

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