Florida Faithbased Alligator Massacre
We all expected the hurricanes to smash houses, but what nobody seemed to expect was that in Florida, people avoid being slaughtered by the 1.3 million alligators (20% of the entire aligator population of the US), by staying on land, and with a statewide flood, there's no more land. Making matters worse is that the entire ecosystem of Florida's alligator population is based on concentrated feeding areas. Now all the fish and water creatures they feed on are no longer concentrated, because the water is everywhere, so the alligators are a lot more motivated to attack.
Youtube is awash with alligator attacks all over Florida, and holy shit! If people weren't fucked enough by all the other nightmares of a hurricane, now there's a statewide alligator massacre, and nowhere to escape, because some asshole took the damn ground away in Florida.
I'll also just say I love hearing all these victims saying "by the Grace of God" when anything good happens. My favorite so far is a guy saying if he believes Christ came back from the dead, nothing can harm him--and for his sake, I sure hope the next hurricane is a Christian.
Well, apparently, by the Grace of God, the alligator population will be very well fed, which will thin the herd of stupid humans who seem to be thankful for everything bad that happens to them, and take no precautions against the barrage of CAT 5 hurricanes that destroy their world every single fuckin year.
Funny thing is that all these Christians seem to have missed the most important lesson about Jesus--that it was the people he tried to save who crucified him. Don't try to save them, because they'll call you a coward and hate you for it, and then put rescuers lives in danger when the shit hits the fan--and likely complain about their deaths being inconvenient as well, because them being irresponsible dildos, insulting those who warn them, then blaming those who die try to save them--
It's all part of the Plan.
Some people deserve their fate. Leave them to it and pass the popcorn!
HURRICANE MILTON ATTACKS TOWN OF FAT WHORES--NO, REALLY!
REPORTERS WHO SPEAK SPANISH SHOULD ACTUALLY SPEAK SPANISH, BECAUSE OTHERWISE....
PUNTA GORDA MEANS FAT POINT,
BUT LEAVE OUT THE 'N' IN PUNTA,
AND WOW, DOES THAT TOTALLY CHANGE THE MEANING. LOL
Also, the guts of the post vanished because I had to edit it from another browser and it got confused, but it's all back now, and please enjoy the town of fat whores. lol
Honey, Who Has Been Tonguepunching Your Fartbox?
I think certain behaviors can be anticipated,
based on the precedents one sets.
Hymns Of Worship and Grace: Rodney Munch Takes a Shit On the Company's Dime
It's one thing to take a shit,
but it's quite another to get paid
$300 to do so,
but to do so after pissing
on your boss in self defense,
after dropping an upperdecker,
then having him arrested as well?
Priceless!
It's no wonder Mr Munch
wrote a hymn about it.
My Favorite Song By A F****T
If we're really being honest, most good music is made by either women or effeminate men.
I lay this at the fact that making music is an essentially feminine activity, but analyzing that, so to speak, is beyond the scope of what I'm enjoying tonight.
One of my favorite songs in the entire universe was made by one of the gayest buttdarts in the universe, but I love the sentiment, and if I ever risk another girlfriend, I will have endless fun trading blowjobs in an autumn forest with this song in the background.
Honestly, I th...
One moment--Liberace is calling me from beyond the grave...
...yes, I know you're saying you're Liberace, but considering you died many years ago, I have a really hard time believing it's really you. ....fine, you're Liberace--so what the hell do you want? ...yes, I know Always by Erasure is the gayest song in the entire universe, yes... ...yes, no argument here, Liberace. ...what do you mean "take it down a notch?" It's not like I know the guy. ...so, I don't care if he's that gay, the song is cool as hell. ...yes I know he probably died of gay rectal trauma, why the hell are you telling me? It's not my area, dammit. ...so, that's his fuckin problem. ...no, I'm not taking any responsibility for his death just because I like the song--I never even met the guy. ...oh fuck Richard Simmons, he's got no room to talk. ...well, fuck you Liberace, I'm posting it anyway, and frankly, this is bullshit coming from a man so gay he had his bitch's face surgically altered to look like himself. ...natural cheekbones? Oh fuck you, you lying xxg. ...yes, I know even gay has its limits, but it's a really cool tune and I'm posting it. ....what did you say to me you chode smoking buttdart? ....if you live inside my fridge and haunt the fuck out of me, I will seriously take a shit on your grave. ...oh fuck you Liberace--he's a grown man and makes his own choices, and frankly his music is better than anything prissy shit you shat out of a piano. ...yes, fuck you too, and go eat a dick, Liberace--I'm playing it anyway. ...bye!
Black People Hate Gravity
I'm finally going to say it.
For years I've been perplexed about something. Several years ago, I encountered a black person saying something was "in here," but instead of saying "in here," he said, "up in here."
No big deal--not even worth noticing, really. Then, somehow, for some reason, every single black person I ever heard after that use the preposition "in," would instead say "up in." I don't think I've ever heard an exception to this. This has perplexed me for years, but I think I've finally figured this out.
Black people hate gravity!
BLM Riots Over NYPD "Stop and Kiss" Program
I totally supported the Stop and Frisk program,
but it just doesn't stop there, does it?
Until there is an all-female police force,
I'm not looking forward to
the Stop and Fuck program.
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