Amazon Demands Gratitude, And Gets Told To Fuck Off

I don't know if what Amazon is doing is illegal, but if not, it damned well should be. I just had a shouting match with Amazon CS, and am returning two Echo Show 15s worth about $500 together, because they won't shut up about thanking my driver. FUCK OFF.

WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY to tell us who to be grateful to?

It's the latest "You're Amazon's Bitch" program in a long line of presumptuous programming changes they are making without our knowledge or permission to our fully purchased Echo Show voice computers that don't belong to them, to satisfy themselves, and have a computer talk you into being their bitch--since when you tell a computer to shut up and fuck off it doesn't affect them the same was as with customer service. Add this to other changes they've made, like interrupting you and telling you it's time to buy something, and reminders of "you may be low on" some other shit you bought before, and it's not only fucking annoying, it's reminiscent of a bottom bitch with a ballgag in a basement being given self-gratifying commands by his dominatrix.

Fuck right off.

Anyway, I'm throwing these pieces of shit right back at them. I'm not saying they're not great for what they do, but it's not worth the constant "reminders" to be their bitch.

I would absolutely encourage anyone currently discovering their Echo is turning into a dominatrix, to disregard the fact the product is "outside the return window," and get on the chat or phone with Amazon and throw these bitchmakers right back at them and demand a full refund.

It's not OUR fault they are outside the return window--NOW is when they presumed to change OUR fully purchased product that does not belong to them, without our knowledge or permission, to bend us over and exploit us to satisfy themselves. Therefore, if you fight for it, you will most likely have the same outcome I've had, which is a return label and an apology.

Don't let them get away with charging "a restocking fee," either--because THEY did this as a violation against our property, so THEY are the ones responsible, not us.

I really sat and thought about it for a while, and when I consider all the changes that Walmart and Best Buy have made to their online stores, Amazon kind of doesn't make sense anymore. The prices are always too high and jacked higher every time you go back to buy the same thing, they never deliver the same day, which both WM and BB DO, and it's getting to be absolutely oppressive trying to get their CS agents on chat or on the phone, because all their multiple choice menu options are designed to steer you into satisfying themselves and quitting trying to get your rights respected, because it's too much work.

The only thing that has kept me hooked is all the money I've spent on videos, kindle, and audiobooks--but the fact is that once purchased, Copyright Law and the DMCA permit us to keep a copy on our computer anyway, so how does Amazon benefit me again? It doesn't.

We can live without Amazon--they are NOT indispensable. Amazon has become an obsolete, arrogant, presumptuous, demanding, and totally dispensable pain in the ass, and I'm glad to be rid of them.

I never have that problem with Walmart or Best Buy. I don't need to go to the stores at all, they're generous with their returns, and they deliver the same day, which Amazon doesn't. In a very real way, they're much better.

If you're an Amazon representative reading this, FUCK YOU--and no, I'm not stating publicly that you demand we express gratitude to your drivers for delivering fresh corpses to cannibals to support their drug habit.

I'm not saying that at all.

I am saying SUCK MY DICK!